Let's Be Real: Pessimists vs. Optimists

Why are you so pessimistic?  If I had a car for every time I was asked that question, I would have more cars than Jay Leno. But I never hear anyone question the optimist.  Why not ask "Why are you so optimistic?".  All too often the optimist is certain of a good outcome, whether it pertains to health, relationships, school/work, weather, etc. This cliche is so commonly found in all types of media, where a character gets let down by someone or something.  Optimists seem to be so sure of the future, but how can this be when the future is so unsure of itself?  The problem I have is that I don't see myself as a pessimist, but as a realist.

To be an optimist is to have high hopes on what is to come.  If what you are expecting to occur, in fact does not, then you feel let down, hopes have been crushed, and spirits are weighted. Now, in contrast, when you are a realist, or what some might refer to as a pessimist, hopes are not set high.  That is not to say there is no hope at all, but that there is little reliance upon them.  The key difference in the two is that the pessimist prepares for the worse whether or not s/he hopes for the best; where as the optimist hopes for the best and expects the best..

In my life I have learned not to be an optimist. Learned being the key word.  One too many times I had high expectations, of something happening that didn't.  I relied on my hopes for these events to occur and expected everything to work out perfectly as planned.  Life does not work like that.  One cannot plan out life, one has to journey through it.  So as I grew older, as more hopes were falsified, I started to change my thinking.  I realized I would start to think in a more realistic manner instead of relying on my hopes that had potential to sadden me if they fell through.  I would no longer plan out the future or expect things to go a certain way.  I began looking at all the outcomes, and how to handle them when the situation presented itself.  This was much better for me because I was not upset when something didn't go according to plan.  This type of thinking actually made me appreciate the good things in life a little bit more.  I wasn't setting high hopes anymore, meaning, I wasn't expecting anything to go as planned, so when something good out of the ordinary occured it was more extraordinary.  Take for example, snow. After, I think about middle school, living in South Carolina, I realized snow was rare and hard to predict.  Even if the weather service was certain it was going to snow, there were times when they were completely wrong.  So when snow was predicted to fall, I had my doubts, if anything I thought it would be the bare minimum, in contrast to the optimist, who believed it would snow 10" each time and they would run out for their milk and bread.  Anytime it actually snowed I was ecstatic because I had expected nothing.  It may not sound like much but I believe there were more endorphins or whatever happy chemicals being released in my brain more so than the average optimist.

I'm writing this now because lately with all my optimistic doctors, its been making me think. I was told many times "you'll be working in a couple of weeks," "you'll be exercising in no time," "i'm sure I can get this, no problem, i no exactly what this is."with endless amounts of confidence and optimism.  Luckily, I am a realist and took none of what they said seriously. It's been 4 months and counting and I can barely do more than walk.  But this leads back to my original thought, time and time again, optimists ask me "Why are you so pessimistic?"  And I answer telling them I don't like to set high hopes just to be disappointed. I hope for the best but I Expect the worse. But now I ask to all the optimists, Why are you so optimistic? How can you be so certain of the future? What will be your answer?  Knowing life constantly throws you curve balls and hands you lemons, why?  Aren't you tired of feeling let down?  Why not just be real.