The Life of the Lonely and Lost

Below are a few writings of mine, that have all been written in the past week.  I am pretty sure this was just me going through withdrawal of leaving my home in East Glacier, and all of my friends out there, who are actually more like family.  They understand me, they let me be who I am, and they encourage it.  There are no judgements, there is no dislike.  It is a place filled with love, adventure, and buckets of laughs.  So journeying back to the Carolinas was sad, disappointing, and not what I wanted.  So after some Red Wine by myself, this is what my mind in accordance with my hand has produced.  It's not obviously for enjoyment, considering it doesn't have much of an uplifting message.  It is more of me releasing my feelings, my emotions, my thoughts, so I am not burdened by heavy thoughts.  It is simply freeing.

I.  It's the lack of laughter, the absence of adoration, the deficiency of direction that stirs my loneliness.

II.  The soul is consumed within a drought. Dried up clinching on to life, thirsty to live. The heart is lost in the deep dark crevasses of life.  Discovering a hint of light if it looks up, but it is mainly lost, lost in the dark.  The mind is simply wandering in nothing less than a maze, not knowing whether to go left or right, North or South.  Directionless and frustrated, wondering where the end is.  The body cries out just to be touched.  Weeping to be in the company of another soul that will bind the two together.  The body is lonely.  The body is lost.

III.  I have no one to share a laugh with.  I have no one to be adventurous with.  I have no one around that knows me.  I have no one to share a drink with.  I Have No One.  I have no one to be intimate with.  I have no one to love.  I have no one to share an inside joke with.  I Have No One.  I have no one to be nervous around.  I have no one to be crazy around.  I have no one to share a deep thought with.  I have no one to cry with.  I Have No One.  I have no one to explore the world with.  I have no one to explore me.  I have no one to travel with.  I have no one that will travel to see me.   I Have No One.

IV.   I'm lost, I'm empty.
       I'm scared,
       I am a blank.
     
       I have no goal
       I have no dream
       I am just a lost soul

       I am agitated
       I am frustrated
       I am stressed

       Lost is what I am