Time is the Most Valuable and Perishable of All Our Possessions

WARNING: This may seem confusing at times...but you will get through it and understand it by the end...I think, I hope!  Good Luck.

I'm sure everyone has heard the expression, "Time flies when you're having fun!". Well, I have always been a believer of the illustrious quote. And most will agree that staying busy keeps the clock running while sitting idly by in fact does the opposite. After contemplating this theory in depth, I realize that the above aphorism conceivably becomes reversed when time is referenced towards a week or longer. My attempt to explain is as follows.

Normally, when we inundate ourselves in constant activity such as a day of multi-tasking or simply just a day of enjoyment with a good group of friends, time seems to escape us as if it was never present.  On the other hand, as you can imagine, when we are inert, lazy, or especially when we have to wait upon someone or something, time creeps forward at an inchworms pace. At those agonizing moments our patience is tested as well as our ears; Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock.  These examples hold true to the previous quote, "Time flies when you're having fun!"

But it is when we begin to sit stationary for a length of time and start to waste multiple days, that time starts to fly away, and that is when the aphorism becomes reversed.  Because when you waste an entire day, the minutes start to fade into hours, the hours into days, the days into weeks, and the weeks into months.  Now, when you engage in life and keep your body, mind, and spirit active, and involve yourself in the people and things around you; minutes and hours and days and weeks start to become different.  They become memories. And the more memories you make, the longer time stays with you, therefore the slower time passes you by. The slower time passes you by, the more you enjoy it.

Take my situation for example. It's very hard for me to create memories, to create different days and weeks because I can only do so much.  I thought four months of amazing times spent in Glacier Park with amazing people in an amazing place flew by.  In retrospect, the summers lasted pretty long.  Every day was filled with excitement and new adventure. When I look back just upon one summer, it seems like a years worth of memories.  But when I look back on my four months of being sick, it feels more like two months worth of time and memories, because everyday has been the same. Time has perished before my ignorant eyes for I did not value the time wasted. The last two months seemed to fly right from under my feet, exemplifying my theory.   I try and do something a little different day to day, but the weeks still seem to mimic each other, one blending right into the next.  Mondays turn into Fridays, and I feel as though I change my monthly calendar every week. It is odd, this feeling.  This feeling of monotony and lassitude.  Even though I may participate in a different hobby from day to day, it is all the same. I am still on a routine, taking medicine every 4-6 hours, eating at the same time everyday, going to sleep and waking up at the same time everyday, becoming part of my parents routine even. I haven't really ever been on a routine such as this.  Not even during my school age years.  My schedule was always screwed up, whether it was because of sports or hanging out with friends. Before, I was living my life day to day, aware that everyday was going to be different from the next,  and I loved that.

I love the idea of never knowing what's in front of you or what's going to happen from one day to the next.  It's exhilarating not knowing where you're going to end up or who you're going to meet. The notion of living wherever the wind blows is so beautiful and natural.  Living life on the edge...well, its just plain fun, and I love having fun.  So my advice to you, go make a memory today, because one day you won't be able to, and  how many memories will you be able to reflect upon on that day? Go make a memory because time flies when your sitting upon your ass, contrary to what they say, time does not fly while you are having fun.  Time is encapsulated in the memories we make during the fun we have and on the days we waste, time is flying away, and memories, opportunities, and smiles are all wasted. So go have some fun, make a memory, and value the perishable time that we call life.

And remember, we only live once!

A Celebration of Life, Love, and All the Small Things

As another year dawns upon me, I sit in my room and realize that although I do not have my health, I still have plenty to be thankful for.  In the midst of world suffering, I use my birthday as a time to celebrate and be thankful for all the small things in life, the things that go unnoticed on a normal day.  We have to remember it's the small things in life that truly matter.

I just finished reading a book about the wars in Sudan and the troubles that have been taking place since the eighties.  The book was an autobiography told by a lost boy. Stories of eye opening yet horrific measure. Things he saw ranged from entire villages being burned (buildings, homes, people) to mass murders to a man with a face skinned off still alive and walking, bombs falling from the sky landing upon fellow lost boys, etc. The list goes on for quite a while and all of it happened just inches before him.  Countless times Sudanese were shot and killed at his feet, his friends dying by his side of starvation and dysentery. I was planning to delve into the book later in another post, I am just referring to the book now to make a point about how bad a situation can be.  And with all the natural disasters occurring across the world such as floods, fires, earthquakes, tornadoes; innumerable families have been misplaced and left without a home, without a roof over their head.

I write today to express how thankful I am for everything I DO have.  So I don't have my health, and that is a big part of living a life, but I do have a whole lot more than others. My suffering is greatly reduced due to the fact that I am lucky enough to have a nice house to live in. I have my own room and bed to sleep in, my own computer to type this on and research and learn things, television to entertain my mind, books to keep me company, a car to take me around town and alleviate me of my boredom, family that loves me unconditionally and supports me, and friends that make sure I am okay. I have food that keeps me fat, flowers that keep me happy, music that has a song for each and every one of my moods and emotions, an iPod to play all of my music, clothes and blankets to keep me warm, ceiling fans to keep me cool, air conditioning to keep me whatever temperature I want to be, an electric fireplace to keep me really warm really fast, a Netflix account to watch all the documentaries ever made, and a Wii to watch my Netflix movies. I even have indoor plumbing. And I am thankful for each and everyone of these things, objects, comfort, family, friends, love, life, all the small things.  I thought my situation was bad, but it could without a doubt be horribly worse.

My point is it's my birthday, I'm 24, and I am very thankful to still be alive.  I am very thankful for everything around me, everything I use, everything that keeps me happy.  If I were to feel as though I am in a horrible situation than I would feel selfish.  There are so many people suffering all over the world, dying just because they lack clean drinking water.  I have clean drinking water, I actually have filtered water that comes out of the door of my refrigerator.  I am so lucky to have all of these things, that lacking health is just a small downfall.  Don't get me wrong I would give all this up in a heartbeat to have good health, because what is life without health? But that is not what I think about. I think about how I am lucky enough to enjoy the things around me, I am lucky enough to have a roof over my head, and blankets keeping me warm, and clean water to keep me refreshed. Minus my health,  I still have quite a lot and I am very thankful for it all.

So remember to be mindful of the little things around you, and thankful for what others have not.  Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.  Thank you for reading and thank you for the birthday wishes and all the love and support. Peace be with you!

The Wandering Spirit May For Always Be Free

I am a Wanderer, a Vagabond, a Drifter, a Nomad, a Gypsy, a Traveler.  Call it what you will, I am all of the above. To be any of these, a person must be free, and that's exactly what I was, FREE.  Can you imagine being completely free one minute and in an instance you become chained and shackled for an indefinite amount of time? Well it is a hard concept to process, but as humans we learn to adapt to the situation at hand. And even though I am sick, I keep a thought constant in my mind, "It could always be worse."  With that, I am able to get through everyday with a smile upon my face and laughter in my voice. I have always had an uplifting spirit, never dwelling on the bad side of things.  "It's all good," could definitely be my life motto for I feel as though it does no good to focus on the things you cannot change, the things you have no control over.  


Although I never set goals in  life my soul has always been free, and I knew I wanted to live my life that way, and I was succeeding. Like I said I am a drifter, but now in a different sense, one that I am not content with. I am drifting away from my dream, away from autonomy. My dream of freely experiencing life has been taken from me due to unfortunate circumstances, leaving me with no other option but to create a new dream out of a new life.As you can imagine, as free as my soul was, school was not one of my favorite things.  I never intended or had the urge to go to college, I went because of my parents. Instead, I wanted to travel, and that is what I expressed to my teachers.  Schools, desk jobs, and institutions in general are not for me.  Such structure and confine of the mind is ridiculous and cruel. During college I was fortunate to spend a summer out west in Glacier and catch a glimpse of what my dream truly was about.  Even though I was in school, I made sure it never defined me and that I was still able to live free, to think freely, to laugh and grow freely.  I was very happy, but it was life after college when I realized I was indeed truly free.  After college I started to really live my dream, living and travelling wherever the wind blew. When you travel, you learn.  The more people you meet, the more places you see, the more knowledge you gain.  Nothing beats seeing 9,000+ foot peaks in your backyard, or having a beach to take a morning walk on, or a midnight kayak on a glacial lake, or having a bon-fire with people from 20+ countries to socialize with.  That's the life meant for me, and until that day, if that day ever comes back around, I will have to learn to be content with the environment around me, and start to learn in other ways.

 I just hope that one day I will be the Nomad that I was born to be. I want to travel, I want to explore, I want to meet new people, see new cultures, eat new foods, see new sites, climb mountains, swim in oceans, rivers, and lakes,  play in the rain and snow, and laugh with friends (new and old).   The hard part of this whole journey has not been learning I have a heart disease, or that I have to take medications at all hours of the day and night or that I have to rely on the medicines to keep my heart stable; the hard part isn't even living with my parents again and depending upon them, giving up all independence, or even the physical restraints, the hard part is not being able to live my dream, to travel, to live FREE. And then to hear stories and see pictures of friends who are living my dream...that's the hard part.  I want to be where they are, to smell the fresh mountain air or the salty sea and have the peaks and valleys and vast expanse of the ocean pierce my eyes and burn their image within me. I want to be a wanderer again, I want to sway with the trees, fall with the rain and the snow, twirl with the tall grass, flow with the water, blossom with the flowers, move with the ground, dance with the wind, sing with the birds, rise with the sun, smile with the rainbows, transform with the clouds, and smoke with the gypsies.

I want to be one with these places, with all of these things, but for now I am one with my bed, with my couch, with my computer, with my books.  And for now I read, I learn and I soak it all in and I try new things.  Which just made me think, maybe I will see how many new hobbies I can pick up. So if you're reading this and think you have a good suggestion for me, (hobby/interest/skill) that I might like, as long as it does not require too much physical stamina as my heart would not be able to endure it, suggest away and i'll try it out (if I don't already know how to do it) and i'll let you know how it goes. For instance my friend carrie just showed me a website about writing a 50,000 word novel in one month, so that will be one of my new hobbies/goals, i will become a novelist and im sure these blog posts will be part of it, and if you want to become a novelist as well check out this website www.nanowrimo.org.

Thanks for reading and I hope there will be some good suggestions that comes out of this.  As for my health, nothing has changed since the last update.  I'm pretty sure I probably won't be writing another health update until after I'm seen at John Hopkins on April 11th.  I'm still going for check up appointments to the urologist, neurologist, and cardiologist about weekly but nothing really to update upon.  So I guess that's it, until next time, Travel safely and only leave your footprints behind.

P.S.  To all my glacier friends, if you read this, I expect you to have a Safety Meeting at the conclusion of this sentence. Stay safe out there!